Minions of Retail

Minion No. 1 says:

"Greetings dudes. As a professional Minion, it has been my pleasure to have my ass kicked many times by Sydney Bristow of ALIAS. Who can forget episode sixteen when she, like, drop kicked me down that elevator shaft? Or that time in season three when she totally stabbed me in the forehead with a salad fork? I was all like: 'ow!' I can tell you, she has cleaned my clock many times!

Actually, none of this may have happened. Since coming to America and teaching myself English through watching a VHS copy of Clueless over and over again, I have been hit on the head so many times, I can not be sure of anything.




"Whatever. It is still with pleasure that I totally suggest you support MINIONS by purchasing a copy of the excellent new ALIAS novel STRATEGIC RESERVE, written by Christina F. York, wife of MINIONS creator Steven York.

"I, myself, have not read it yet, but I anticipate that many Minion butts will be righteously kicked. And without such opportunities, my posse comrades and I would be out of work. So buy a copy today."


Minion No. 1 also says:
"My pretzel is totally dry. Did you Bogart the mustard?"